I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize