I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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