I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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