sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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