even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
