sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
