Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
