He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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