woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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