sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
