why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
