so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
