you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
