why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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