At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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