How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
