she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
