You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize