It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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