a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
