So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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