dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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