Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
