And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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