did you get engaged???
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize