You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
