Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
