Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
