HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I could fuck to npr.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
