Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
