is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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