I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
