Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize