i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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