They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
