Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
