I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
