Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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