your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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