i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
