Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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