he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
