Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
that's an acceptable place to lick
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize