the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
