He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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