Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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