that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
