It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize