The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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