There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize