Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
