i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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