Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
