Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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