Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i came on her dog
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
