3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This girl is more easily done than said...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
