dude i'm inner monologue high
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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