dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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