he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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