oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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