yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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