Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
