Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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